Be Awesome, March

In general, February is an awesome month. I have done so many things personally and spiritualy. I have out grown my childish spiritual battle and had a beautiful and awesome in my One2One journey. I have learned a lot making me I suppose a better person from yesterday.

Here comes my friend MARCH and I am excited to spend the whole month trying to figure out what more could I do to become a better person. What more could I submit to the Lord, my Savior and Creator not only to become a better Christian but also to become a better person in general.

Just a few days ago, I woke up suddenly feeling empty, feeling sorry about the things I don't even know, I felt emptiness and definitely I felt the worst feeling. All I wanted was to sleep and sleep and sleep. I never did anything in the morning but simply to just sleep.

In the afternoon just after lunch, I checked my phone and decided to send an sms message to Rojohn my church leader who is conducting my One2One. He sent me a message of encouragement together with a bible verse which reads: "11 For I know what I have planned for you,' says the Lord. 'I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope. 12 When you call out to me and come to me in prayer, I will hear your prayers. 13 When you seek me in prayer and worship, you will find me available to you. If you seek me with all your heart and soul. Jeremiah 29:11-13" 

As I am pondering on the message I recieved from Rojohn my messenger pop up and a friend from Italy sent me a message aside from greeting me a good morning he also sent me a bible verse: "Instead of living in the shadows of yesterday, walk in the light of today and the hope of tomorrow. Phippians 3:13-14 forgetting those things which are behind.... I press toward the goal. Morning"

As I was reading these message and trying to grasp the message and internalize it I suddenly doze off to sleep. I had this feeling that started Janaury of last year. I felt so bad and so empty that I dont know where it is coming from. I ask myself, am again geering towards mild depression. I flashed back from what have I done for the past week, then I realized I rarely eat, I rarely go out of the house, I always shutoff my house so people cant see me, I practically did not nothing and I didnt even notice it.

Whatever this is I told myself, it should stop, so the next morning, I dressed up and went running. As I was running, I remembered I might be in a spiritual battle. I maybe am being tested how far I could go with my spiritual devotion. I maybe am being placed in a situation wherein my spiritual quest will be tested deliberately. After realizing all these I stopped in the middle of the road and prayed and ask God for guidance.

After jogging, I finally got home ate my breakfast and visited my garden. I felt better that morning. Then I remembered, it is Thursday and it is the first Thursday of the month which means its Worship Night at 7:00 PM. I checked my wallet and found out that I only have Php30.00 left. I felt bad because I cant go to church. I felt bad because I cant celebrate and worship God with my churchmates. So I just continued watering my plant and weeding out.

Out of nowhere my best buddy at my previous employer sent me a message asking me to send her a message too. So which I did. After a few exchanges later that noon, she said that she has sent me a Php1000.

I am supper thankful because I thought I cant go to the worship night and I didnt event mention her that I only have Php30 in my wallet.

I am so thankful, because despite all the things going around, I have friends who share their food to me, I have friends who cheers me up when I am down, I have friends who truly understand me. I am Thankful because God is blessing me in so many ways despite the fact that I am a sinner and I have God who has loved me even though some despise me and consider me arrogant without knowing me.

Now, I know I am in a spiritual battle. Now I know it is clear that I am being tested and rediculed by the devil to not hold on to God's promise. Despite all these, I know I am holding on to my Faith that Jesus Christ is walking with me as I go through all the hurdles of life.