Kiss and Good Bye

It was dark. It was so dark. I can’t see anything but the flickering lamp post so far from me. The wind blowing harshly and the rain pouring immensely. It was one cold night. So cold that I can feel it piercing from within. The stridulating sound of the cricket and croaking of the frogs sounded like a chorale in the night adorn with the flickering light from the fire fly.

It was that night where these creatures are rejoicing from the dark. I wanted to go home. I wanted to feel the comfort of my bed and the warmth of my house.

Plugged my earphone and played my playlist while walking in the cold rainy night.

Why can't you hold me in the street?
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't we be like that?
'Cause I'm yours

And nobody knows I'm in love with someone's baby
I don't wanna hide us away
Tell the world about the love we're making
I'm living for that day
Someday

It was then I remember a friend. I remember the times when I was so sick and unable to get out of the house he’d come and play with me. Sleep together like real siblings. Play wet soils soaked with our own urine when no one is watching. I remember before you go away, you’d left me your mud fish pet asking me to take good care of it until we would meet again. I remember crying over it for months when it died after a year. I remember the unparalleled friendship when I have none. I remember you standing beside me when I was bullied because I was labelled as the weakest link amongst everyone.

I remember my friend every time I am being rushed at the hospital. Growing up would never be that exciting if not with the memories that we shared. The stories we created. The crying and comforting. We are best friends; we are best buddies.

I was so happy when after 10 long years we finally met as we took the same major in college. I remember the nights of sleep over. The pranks and the laughter. I remember the bar hopping and smoking packs of cigarettes. I remember how you snore and your after shower smell. I remember those smiles. I still remember your unwashed hair, your delicate lips and your eyes with a thousand emotions.

Now we are miles away. Now we both have separate lives and problems to take care. I remember how worried I am when my only best friend was abducted by Abu Sayyaf before your marriage. I guess those were the days and will always be part of a sweet memory. I will always remember you.

I continue walking home in that one called night. The rain continues to pour hard. The wind continues to blow angrily. The frogs and the crickets continues to make sound. I continue to listen to the music playing in my phone.

Then you came out of nowhere
I could not believe my heart
I didn't know how to tell you
Didn't know where to start
I know you understand

When I hid inside
I almost died
Oh, I hid inside and I cried
A loving heart in a sensitive man
I know you'll understand

As the second song continues to play. I continued remembering the past. I continued remembering the days and the people whom I have been in the past. I continue to remember you then suddenly I see a flash of a rushing head light gearing towards me. Then, I hear a screeching sound of a tire. I hear scream of the by standers. The croaking of the frog slowly fading away.

I feel numbness from within. I feel cold. I am not hearing anything but I hear your sweet voice once again. I hear your voice whispering your goodbye. As everything goes dark and really cold, I imagined I was riding at the back of the mud fish. I imagined just you and me for the last time playing, chatting and laughing in the river where the mud fish swims freely and happily. As I savor the moment, everything is fading slowly. I tried to hold on. I see you fading away. I see things going dark and getting colder by the second.